Ugly Duckling Syndrome
by Mabelle Cadi
Summary: Everyone suffers from it. But, it's the test of friendship that sees that the victim is healed properly. Can you identify UDS from simple insecurity? Or will the diagnosis be too late? L/J
1. Prologue

The Introduction

**The Introduction**

**M.C's title: Understanding the Characters so I Don't Have to Tell you During the Actual Story**

M.C Note: So. Finally. It has come…my fanfiction! Here, I'm introducing the characters and no, it is NOT part of the story. It's kinda like a prologue. So. Enjoy!

The Disclaimer: Those characters that you recognize are probably not mine. The ones that have originated in my head, are mine. After all, they did come from _my _head…

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The Ladies:

Lily Marie Evans

Have you ever kept track of the stock market? You know, like, how one stock is up, and another's dropped? Well, I feel like the stock market. You see, when I entered my 4th year here at Hogwarts, I was suddenly the object of any person with a Y chromosome if you know what I mean. My stock shot up. I had dates every Hogsmeade weekend, and even dates in between. I'm not very interesting, 5' 4", auburn hair, and green eyes. But, during that year, something very strange happened. James Potter gave me the googly eyes…

**Kayla Gwen Shaw**

Lily and I have been friends for like, ages. I mean, the only person who knows her better is like, her. Seriously. And I'm doubting if she knows herself that well.

But that's not the point. The point is, that Lily is suffering from a disease. A very fatal disease if not treated. You see, Lily is suffering from what I'd like to call UDS. Ugly Duckling Syndrome. Yeah. What does that mean? Just look at Lily and she's the perfect definition of it.

Me? I'm not. I have wavy, black hair, half Asian, and stand at an imposing 5 feet 6 and one half inches. At least, it's imposing in my circle of friends. Elsewhere, not so much. My eyes are the color of chocolate, or poop, as Morgan so loves to call it. Except she uses the other word, and I'm pretty sure you know what I'm talking about.

Anyways, after 2 years of listening to Lily's constant complaining, Morgan and I have teamed up to find her the perfect bachelor. Or not a bachelor.

**Morgan Brie Jacobson**

First, let me get this straight: I hang out with guys more than girls. We got that? Good. If you _ever_ plan on keeping your eyes, you should stay away from Yo Mama jokes and That's What He/She Said kind of things.

So, my best buds are the Marauders and then come Lily and Kayla. Of course, I go to Lily for educational stuff and…Kayla if I ever need someone to rile up. You should see her when I tell her her eyes are the color of shit. She claims it's chocolate. Give me a break.

But, surprisingly, we've both gotten sick of hearing Lily moaning and groaning of all the pervs in the school. I _hang out_ with those supposed pervs and you don't see me getting felt up. Anyways, we've teamed up to slap a metaphorical duct tape across her mouth which means to get her a guy. Hopefully a _single_ guy, but after seeing the gleam in Kayla's eyes, I'm not so sure…

The (not-so) Gentlemen:

**James Blake Potter**

The thrill of the chase. I'm not sure if that's what I'm after in Lily Evans. I know that I like her, and only the Marauders and Morgan know of that. But I don't think they know HOW MUCH. She's like, basically all I think about. I hope nobody's noticed.

When I say 'nobody's noticed' I mean, nobody except Lily. She doesn't even know I'm alive. I think. I'm not that inconspicuous, standing at 6' 4". I'm a whole foot taller than her! How she can _not_ notice me is my question. But Morgan let me in on one of their 'girl secrets'. They're matchmaking for her! She said she'll try and give it a hearty shove in my direction. Maybe this'll work?

**Sirius Lex Black**

Heh. Heh. Oh, hem…well. Did I tell you that James is in love with Lily? I didn't? Well, I did now. Okay, I think that's enough talking about James' love of Lily now.

You wanted to hear about me? You didn't? Oh…but you're gonna hear it anyways. Well, if you insist. I am undeniably handsome; even ol' Moony has to agree. I have the _best_ hair in Hogwarts, no matter _what_ that Kayla Shaw says. Though she does have really shiny hair. Soft, too.

ANYways, I'm 6' 2" and my eyes are "pools of melted silver" according to Rachel Thompkins. I can't believe I still remember her name. Well, I have tanned skin and I'm buff. Kinda. Not really. Sorta. Okay, so I'm not buff. But I'm buffer than Moony. Heh. Heh.

**Remus Case Lupin**

Now, if you've heard anything from Sirius, I have to claim that they are all untrue. Every single bit. Except if he mentioned that James has a humongous not-so-secret crush on a particular Lily Evans; that part is probably the only truthful thing in his paragraph. I'm not sure how anybody can trust him with a designated amount of space and actually expect him to stay on the task.

Before you jump to any conclusions, I love Sirius as a brother. We've gone through a lot with my animal issue and I'm forever in debt to him. But, you can only love a dirty-minded brother so much.

A little about myself: I have sandy blond hair, and my eyes are only a couple shades darker. My height isn't quite as impressive as James' since I'm a full 2 inches shorter. But, at least I'm the same height as Sirius. One less thing for him to rub in my face.

Peter Lance Pettigrew

I don't know what kind of sick game my parents were playing when they named me. P.L.P? Are you kidding me? It's like pulp! At least it's better than P.A.P, right? That's what Sirius keeps telling me.

Well, I'm sure the other covered anything significant so I'll just concentrate on me. I'm 5' 6", surprisingly tall for my family; extremely short for a Marauder. I have light brownish hair with light blue eyes. Sirius tells me I look like a mouse, thus my anim— Oh! I said too much!

**M.C Note: Well? Well? What did you think? Review, pleasies and thank yous!**


	2. Chapter 1: Disconcerting Realizations

Chapter 1: Disconcerting Realizations

**Chapter 1: Disconcerting Realizations**

**M.C's Title: of First Fights, Psychopaths, and Goose Eggs**

M.C. Note: Yes! The first chapter! Thank you to:

**g.piz**: I know! I'm trying to update A.S.A.P but sometimes school gets in the way. Gah…

**Your yellow flower**: Hah! Thingy ma bober! I say that a lot…I probably shouldn't cause nobody gets what I'm saying, but you'll understand

**Luthien's-Dream**: Thank you! Like, while I sleep I'm thinking of ways to make my fanfiction funny and unique so hopefully I've got it down. As for Remus' middle name, I'm not even sure. I just put something cause I think they mentioned James' middle name, too, but I don't remember it. I can't remember details like that, either. It's short-term memory. I've had it for a while. Just ask my sister.

**Eve1980**: This one's just for you!

**books4evah**: Of course I'm continuing it! And that's harsh. Just don't tell anybody your middle name and nobody'll find out!

**Diamond and Stars**: Heya! Glad you think it's so funny. I kinda hoped for that…

Thanks you guys for reviewing!

Okay, anyways, so this is going to be the only chapter that is not in someone's perspective. So, bear with me.

Disclaimer: I only own KayKay, and Morg so far. Everyone else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

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"_What_ is wrong with you?" snapped a fair-skinned girl. Apparently she was a bit upset with the Fourth Year next to her.

"What did I do?" trembled the tiny girl.

"You _stepped_ on my _shoe_," the fair-skinned girl hissed threateningly. "Do you _know_ how _much _this _shoe_ cost?" Not waiting for an answer, she continued, "_More than your freaking house._"

The sound of a door sliding open accompanied a voice saying, "Aw, KayKay, let her go. The girl didn't even make a mark." The girl, KayKay, immediately whipped her head around squealed with delight,

"Lilykins!" The Fourth Year took this time to scamper away. "Aw, lookie here. She got away. Well, let's inspect the damage inside," concluded Kayla.

"Kayla Shaw, I heard you a mile away," drawled a voice from inside the compartment.

"Nice to see you too, Morg." Kayla rolled her eyes. With a _clunk_, she shoved her bag under the seat. "So, what have you been up to lately?"

"Nothing you would be interested in," sighed Morgan, staring at her broken nails.

"Isn't that reverse psychology?" asked Lily, glancing up from her book to see what her two friends were goading each other about again.

"Yes," glared Morgan. "But I was _going_ to let Kayla figure that our by herself."

Lily's mouth became a perfect 'O' before retreating out of the impending fight.

But, before they could continue with Morgan's summer details, there was a commotion outside the door.

"Ooh! Maybe it's the first fight of the year!" Morgan grinned.

"I can't believe you take interest in that kind of thing," Kayla sniffed. But she couldn't resist drifting over near Morgan as she threw open the compartment door. In that instant, two things happened. 1) Three bodies hurled themselves into their compartment, and 2) One of them landed in Lily's lap.

"OhMyGawd!" screamed Lily as a pair of chestnut eyes stared back at her. She jumped up, shoving those eyes onto the floor. As for Kayla and Morgan, they were currently convulsed in laughter. "Remus! _What_ is going on here?!" she demanded.

"Hello Lily dear, nice to see you too." Remus smiled amiably, weaving his way around the mass of limbs in the center of the compartment. "As for why these bozos are on the floor, I have really no idea. Especially for a Head Boy; this is really not a good way to start the year."

Lily froze. "Are you serious? _Who_ is Head Boy?" she demanded.

"James."

"James."

"James."

"Me!"

"Okay, um, _why_ am I never informed of these things?" glared Lily. "Were you two in on this, too?"

The guilty expressions on Kayla and Morgan's faces said it all.

"UUUGGGGHHHHH!!"

"Jeez, why would it matter to you this much? I mean, it's not like Hogwarts is basically in the hands of a psychopath," shrugged Sirius who had extracted himself from the pile by now. He dusted off his muggle clothes. "Right?"

"You're right," Kayla shrugged. She had composed herself from her fit. "I mean, we're just talking about the kid who set off dungbombs in the Headmaster's office in the first year, almost blew up half of the school in the second year, then, in the third year, turned all the girls' hair blue and the boys' pink. But, I'm not done. He then almost decapitated Filch in the fourth year, and in the fifth year, the whole Slytherin Quidditch team ended up in the Hospital Wing because of him. Oh yeah, we picked a really _responsible_ student this year."

"I get it, I get it," grumbled James, hoisting himself onto the plush seat across from Sirius. "But, I can't just return the title. I mean, how rude could that be? Besides, it feels nice to have some power now and then." He smirked, buffing his nails against his shirt.

"Puh-lease," Kayla retorted, "you basically have the whole staff wrapped around your finger. Except Dumbledore."

James rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"You know what? It doesn't matter. What _does_ matter is who is the Head Girl to stop this crazed psychopath from taking over this school. So, who is she?" asked the sensible Morgan.

"_She_ would be _me_," said a soft voice.

Everyone turned to look at Lily.

"Nice," James ginned. He scooted over to Lily. "Hey partner," he smirked, giving the double eyebrow wiggle.

"Ew," supplied Kayla. Lily was still in shock.

"Did any of you notice that Peter's still on the ground?"

Ten pairs of eyes turned towards Remus, who was pointing at the floor.

"Dude, is he like, sleeping or something?" Sirius leaned over and poked his rather meaty shoulder. "Dude, he looks dead."

"I don't think he's dead. He probably fell unconscious when we barrels in here," James reasoned, nudging Peter's leg with his toe. "Yeah, he'll wake up in a few minutes. If not, we can just stick his head in a bucket of ice."

"Well, isn't that nice of you?" Morgan asked, sarcasm dripping from her words.

"Okay, stop. We have to get changed into our robes. Guys, out!" ordered Kayla.

"What about Peter?" Remus was right, they probably shouldn't risk him waking up while they were naked.

"Levitate him out! I don't care! Drag him if you have to!"

"All right," Sirius shrugged. "Boys, open the door."

With that, Peter was rather ungraciously dragged out.

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"Jeez, why were you so worked up about that whole James-is-Head-Boy thing?" Morgan asked while they were changing. "Besides from the obvious, of course."

"Okay, so I saw him over the summer, right? And he gave more more googly eyes than I can count. Seriously." Lily shuddered while slipping on her shirt.

"Well, it can't be that bad. I mean, he's like, the hottest guy in the 6th year. I heard Mikayla Hobson and Stephanie Karson both tried to ask him out." Kayla shook her head as she pulled on her skirt. "They were both rejected."

"Are you kidding me?!" Lily almost shrieked. After being hushed, she continued in a whisper, "Do you know how many haters I'll have when I go to school and everyone sees him mooning after me? I happen to _like_ people liking me!"

"You know, I know James and he can be quite obsessive," mused Morgan.

"_Not_ helping the cause!" Kayla hissed.

"But then, whenever do I do?" Morgan pointed out.

"Okay, what you need to concentrate on now is going to that Head compartment and telling those prefects what to do. That's all. You don't even need to talk to him, don't look at him, nothing. Nada. Goose eggs, okay?"

"Goose eggs?" questioned Lily, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

"Yes, goose eggs! Now go! Shoo," replied an irritated Kayla.

The last Lily heard of her friends was a muffled snicker from Morgan and an annoyed sigh from Kayla. Reassuring.

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**M.C. Note: I hope this chapter lived up to the potential. If not, I have a bunch of ideas for the next chapters so they'll be better. Promise. Review please!**


	3. Chapter 2: Destination Hogwarts

Chapter 2:

**Chapter 2: Destination Hogwarts (L)**

**M.C's Title: Of Well-Behaved Children, Cardboard Boxes, and La-la Land**

M.C. Note: Wow. I'm really bad at this whole updating-on-time thing. But, while you all chuck pebbles and wet noodles at me, you cannot deny the fact that I have, in fact, updated. Woo! Thanks to all my reviewers from last time and to my newly acquired reviewer: **magicXheart**!

The rest of these chapters will be in somebody's perspective unless I have a random idea that needs to have it in 3rd person. Until then, the perspective will be said in the letter in the parenthesis next to the title. L for Lily, K for Kayla, M for Morgan, and so on. Luckily, I have no repeating letters so it all works out.

Disclaimer: KayKay and Morg are mine. The rest are J.K's.

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I really don't think this is necessary. I mean, this is cruel and unusual punishment which happens to be condemned in the muggle Constitution. I learned that in muggle elementary school when a boy was slowly tearing off all the limbs of a cockroach. I don't like cockroaches but still…ew.

Anyways, why do I even have to work with Potter? I'm sure he can handle himself.

Okay, I lied. He probably can't handle himself.

But still! They should just hire him a babysitter. It should not be the Head Girl's job to keep the Head Boy's reputation (and her own, as a matter of fact) from being completely ruined beyond repair. As in chopped, diced, stewed, rotted, stomped, churned, and then burned beyond repair.

However, I'm not surprised that such _ancient_ ways of treating women are still used at Hogwarts. I mean, for _centuries_ women had to keep the household name while the men go hunting or whatever else they do. Then the men get all the glory of having such a good house and well-behaved children when it was the sweat and blood of women! _Of women!!_

Anyways, that's off the subject. The point is that Potter needs a babysitter and that _will not_ be me.

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I was hoping to get to the Head compartment early. But my dreams were cruelly crushed.

"Sup Lily-kins." James smirked his annoying little smirk at me.

"Potter."

"That's cold," he pouted.

"It is not! How is that cold? I used your surname which 95 of the population at Hogwarts uses. Now tell me, how am I cold?" I demanded. I had a perfectly good argument going here.

"Jeez, why so defensive Lily-kins?"

I rolled my eyes. My mind went completely blank. Good thing I didn't really need it for some super-beyond-witty-crushing comeback. Those Prefects have really good timing.

"Afternoon, Prefects. This will only take a minute and then you may go," I started. They looked so young. I really don't think I can expect much out of them. "First off, I am Lily Evans, Head Girl. This is Head Boy, James Potter," I waved my hand in his general direction, "and we will be the ones to whom you go to if there is trouble." James and his Marauders will probably be the ones causing it. "Now, you must report to the Head Dorm tonight to receive the rounds you will have to do for the rest of the year. You will work in pairs, or you may work alone. I will post the dates of the Prefect meetings on the bulletin boards of the four Common Rooms. If you miss one, it will be reported to the Headmaster." I racked my brain for anything else. "Um, James, did I miss anything?"

I looked over a James who was sitting on a random cardboard box.

Lazy boy. I hope that box collapses under him.

But, he just shook his head and gave me another smile.

"Uh, oh-kay Prefects if you have any more questions, feel free to ask either me or the Head Boy, alright?"

The Prefects were already getting up and almost out the door though.

Dang, they move fast. I don't remember moving that fast when I was that young.

Okay, I lied. I remember running so frikking fast when Kayla, Morgan and I hurled a dung bomb into the Slytherin Common Room after some kid went in, though. We were 4th years then, but that was pretty cool.

Anyways, I had to blink a couple times to come back from Memory Lane and when I did, man, that was a close one! Potter's face was like, _inches_ away from mine! Seriously!

"Woah there, Evans."

He gripped my shoulder, and I probably would'a fallen off my seat if he hadn't. But jeez, he grips really hard!

"Um, Potter? You're kinda hurting me."

"What? Oh! Um…heh, sorry about that." He had removed his hand and increased the distance between our faces.

"Yeah, whatever. Why didn't you say anything during the meeting?" I turned the question towards him just cause it was getting a teensy bit awkward.

"Uh, well, cause I thought you had it under control." He seemed a bit uncomfortable, but kind of cute there, with his head bent and concentrating on a very interesting part of the carpet.

"I _did_ but it would've been nice if you contributed. You know, like, a little bit."

"Oh. Well. I will next time. See ya Lily." He shrugged, waved, and left the room.

And that was all. That was it. Wow. That was beautiful.

Please note the sarcasm.

I gathered my things and slowly meandered down the hallway and back to our compartment where I knew Kayla and Morgan would want to know what happened. They were too 'mischievous' to be a Prefect.

Too bad I was right.

"LILYYYYYYYYYYYY!!"

I could probably file that I was attacked by a group of polar bears and they wouldn't know the difference.

"Guess what? Guess what?" asked an über hyper Kayla. It was obvious she was high on sugar. Scary.

"Do I _want_ to know?" I asked Morgan tiredly.

"Of course not. But, I think you should still humor me for the last 10 minutes of this train ride."

Oh. Will do.

"What, Kaykay?"

"Oh-kay, so, after you left my house, right? Well, we went to like, Venice Beach, Cali, you know? In like, the U.S? Well, there were some freaking cute guys there and then there were some really ugly dread-locked people whom I really don't know _why_ they were here cause like, isn't California supposed to be for like, pretty people? Anyways, I saw his really hot guy right? So, my sister, who was posing as my friend cause she just like, got her hair dyed auburn, kind of like yours, Lil, but it was kinda more brownish-cherry than your hair. So anyways, we went up to that hot guy and his friend and we started flirting and whatnot and guess what?" Kayla asked, while still running on super-speed. "I GOT HIS NUMBER!!" she squealed for the world to hear.

"Well, that's great Kaykay."

I honestly have nothing else to say for that speech.

"I know, isn't it?" Kayla giggled.

Morgan, always the sensible one, simply scoffed and said, "Let's get out of La-La land and into the Hall. We're there."

Yippee.

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**M.C. Note: So, how was it? Entertaining? Average? Enlightening? Let me know!**


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